Negotiating a Scene

Once you have found someone to play with (don't forget My safety tips, will you?) the scene you hope to share will need to be negotiated. This means being honest about the things you DO want to try as well as being open about what you DON'T want to do. If you're submissive and wish to avoid seeming to 'top from the bottom', discuss these areas as gifts you would desire to lay at the Dominant's feet or areas you hope They will consider teaching you about. This can be tricky if you're entirely new to the situation and have no notion of what you may enjoy. In this case, be clear about what you DON'T think is OK (these may change as you journey further); and think about the images you are attracted to, what things are in your fantasies?

Make sure you are both open and honest about your health status too. If you intend to lick shoes that have been worn outside, is your tetanus vaccination up to date? Make sure you take a snack along with you if your first encounter is to be at the talented hands of a good pro-Domme. The initial experience can leave you feeling light headed, and a simple chocolate bar can work wonders. Don't forget to make clear any marking limits you may have too. What safeword or communication system is to be used? Only a fool plays for the first time with someone new without using "traffic lights" or a similar system! I refuse to play someone new without it in place - although it's not used I feel better if it's there in case I do mis-read a reaction. I also refuse to re-negotiate once a scene has begun. I have this rule because of how many kneel for Me and once in scene will beg for something I know perfectly well they will regret bitterly afterwards. If the Dominant you are thinking of engaging with doesn't display this level of stewardship with their playthings then ask yourself what you're doing negotiating with them!