Staying safe while having fun can seem terribly dull until you come a cropper (and I don’t mean in a good way!). There are some basic rules to follow to keep you safe while you explore your kinks with others that are worth mentioning:
General Safety
Make sure you have a ‘safe call’ set up with a friend you can trust if you’re going to meet someone. even if you lie as to why you’re meeting, make sure you have an external point of contact that is aware you’re out; and if you don’t want to give away too many details, leave a note at home as to your exact location.
Courtesy should be given, but trust should be earned. Never allow someone to tie you up the first time you meet them!
What are their personal circumstances? If their partner “doesn’t understand them or their needs” and they have a sexual focus what do you THINK they want? DUR!
What could they lose if they blew the whistle on you and your preferences? If they know more about you than you do them, alarm bells should be ringing! I happen to know personally of a male who preys around the edges of the BDSM scene, luring vulnerable female subs to him and after having sex with them for a while blackmails them for a few grand afterwards. This is NOT a BDSM ‘master’, this is a sociopathic little shit with significant insecurities (and a small penis!). Be careful, there are plenty of bottom feeders at the edge of the kinky pond. While these vampiric cowards usually pose as Dominants (often attempting to legitimise themselves through association with respected Dominants), but be wary of subs who follow similar patterns and hide their circumstances from you.
Make sure you have a kink specific email address to help protect your identity.
These points may seem obvious, but I meet so many folk who seem to loose all their common sense when their fetishes stand a chance of being made real! Don’t forget to engage your brain so you can relax into an experience that can life altering, otherwise you risk ending up in a nightmare that’s life ruining!
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